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Friday, 12 September 2014

The house

WALT : Use varied sentence beginnings and lengths. I think I did well describing what it looks like and and varying my length. I think I need to vary my sentence beginnings.

The wood was broken & a little bit rusty. Shattered glass lay in the parched grass. The door handles were nowhere to be seen & the door lay on a cut tree trunk. More wood lay in the grass, but was leaning against the cut tree trunk. A few trees lay on the grass covered in moss. Eventually rats & mice made their homes in the walls There were no machines . Walls were covered with mud. The ground was covered in grass, ripped newspaper & mud(too). Rats scurried everywhere, searching for food; the rats would squeak or show it’s teeth if it saw something coming towards it(to scare the thing away).

2 comments:

  1. I think you have done a good job of varying your sentence beginnings. I like the way you have used short sentences, these have added impact to your writing. Ka mau te wehi!!!

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    1. Thank you Miss Smith for commenting.

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