WALT : Use varied sentence beginnings and lengths. I think I did well describing what it looks like and and varying my length. I think I need to vary my sentence beginnings.
The wood was broken & a little bit rusty. Shattered glass lay in the parched grass. The door handles were nowhere to be seen & the door lay on a cut tree trunk. More wood lay in the grass, but was leaning against the cut tree trunk. A few trees lay on the grass covered in moss.
Eventually rats & mice made their homes in the walls
There were no machines . Walls were covered with mud. The ground was covered in grass, ripped newspaper & mud(too). Rats scurried everywhere, searching for food; the rats would squeak or show it’s teeth if it saw something coming towards it(to scare the thing away).
W.A.L.T use other authors as teachers.
What I did well is...
Starting with remember the time.
Extend on the opening sentence.
Writing you instead of I.
Writing about my memories &
ending with a closing sentence